


Back to Zero

by Nebbles



Series: What Lies at the End [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Echoes: Mou Hitori no Eiyuu Ou | Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Other, more angst bc that's how i be, more for the deliverance fails!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 11:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14211837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles
Summary: The Deliverance has changed, and sadly, it's not for the better.





	Back to Zero

The Deliverance has changed, Lukas notes. The welcoming air it once held is stale, and familiar faces seem to have faded into the shadows. He recognizes Forsyth and Python, of course, and it’s hard to say if he truly recognizes Clive. He’s Clive in name only, an illusion of the man they once respected. 

Trust was something Lukas didn’t give very often, and he recalls how fervently it was given to Clive. To see that trust misplaced after all this time saddens him so, but it’s not something Clive necessarily deserves anymore. Kindness isn’t anything Lukas is willing to offer, either. Every strategy meeting for the past few weeks have been nothing but petty spats, resulting in Clive waving around his leadership, declaring his word law.

He is rather tired of this, as Lukas is called in for another strategy meeting. Patience is not something he plans to offer to Clive today in any capacity. Harsh words swim through Lukas’s mind, and for once, he’s ready to voice them.

“Lukas,” Clive looks up at him as he enters, “I assume you’re ready to discuss our next course of action.”

“Of course,” Lukas paints a pleasant look on his face. “What do you have mind?”

“Our numbers are still smaller than I would like, so we need to visit some surrounding villages and find able bodies,” Clive’s finger points a few places on the map spread out on the table between them. “Of course, we need expendable soldiers as well.”

Expendable. It’s a crude way to refer to people, especially those who have no means of ever fighting in battle.

“Are you suggesting we rally whoever we can? I thought we only needed soldiers,” Lukas tries to tug his mind into a more rational direction, despite knowing it may be futile.

“That’s what I said, Lukas. You can surely teach these people how to wield a lance. We need the numbers to overthrow Rigel, don’t we?” Clive’s voice is too calm for one suggesting the potential deaths of many.

There’s too many words Lukas wants to say, and he’s not sure which to vocalize first. Clive takes his silence as agreement, and continues.

“We’ve had too many deserters as of late. I’m hoping we can make up for that with more numbers for us,” Clive taps his foot on the ground in thought. “Hopefully you can bring in some people who will stay for once.”

“Forgive me if the common folk don’t enjoy the idea of fighting for a war they never asked for.” The words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop himself, but Lukas can’t seem to regret it this time.

“They should be happy to fight under our banner. We’re a proud army,” Clive’s tone remains unchanged, “a few sacrifices mean nothing.”

“...Clive, these are innocent civilians you speak of. Their lives mean plenty to their friends and family.” There’s another thing Lukas wants to tack on, but he holds on to it for the time being.

“Surely they can see the honor in fighting for Zofia,” Clive’s tone shifts as it’s followed by a sharp glare.

“There is no honor in dying for a cause you do not believe in. I cannot accept this mission. I cannot have the deaths of others stain my hands,” he stands firm, meeting Clive’s eyes. 

He sees Clive begin to say something else, and Lukas decides he’s not interested in hearing Clive justify senseless death.

"Mathilda would be disappointed in you," Lukas can feel a hard, seething stare fixed on him, "Dishonoring her memory to drag innocent people into your battles... I thought that was the very thing we were supposed to fight against."

Tension in the room is thick, suffocating the air around the two. Lukas isn’t sure if he’ll regret his sentiments, but he realizes the Clive he knew isn’t around anymore. Testing him with harsh words was perhaps not the way to go, but Lukas also cannot deny his feelings.

“Are we truly so short on men you would thrust a lance onto those who cannot fight?” Lukas retaliates with a hard gaze of his own. “And then do nothing when their lives are in danger?”

“We wouldn’t be so short on men if Alm,” Lukas notices how crudely Clive spits his name, “hadn’t failed in his duty.”

“...You should not blame your own shortcomings on a child.” Lukas finally says. 

He sees Clive’s eyes widen slightly. Lukas knows he’s teetering on thin ice, yet the urge to call him out more comes to surface. Perhaps it was years and years of not having a voice himself. Perhaps it was years of remembering painful words come out of his brother’s mouth, and having no room to protest. Perhaps it was just after seeing so many years of abuse, Lukas did not want it directed at others.

“It is not my fault she died. It is Alm’s fault. It is the fault of these civilians that they’re dying.” Clive’s words are punctuated with nothing but anger. “I sent you out to bring me back a hero, not a farm boy.”

“I brought you exactly what you requested,” Lukas coolly rebukes. 

“You brought me a failure, which is not what I asked for.” Clive’s reply is sharp, the anger pointed in his direction as if it were a lance.

“You would damn a child after putting such a heavy responsibility on his shoulders? If you could not perform the action yourself, why are you blaming him?” Lukas’s eyebrows finally knit together in anger of his own. “He tried. Is that not admirable enough?”

“I would ask you stop defending him already. He is a pitiable failure - a commoner, no one worthy of praise from a noble. Or are you stooping down to his level?” Clive knows what will stop Lukas - something to weigh the argument in his favor. “I expected better for someone from your station.”

Lukas’s mouth forms into a thin line. He refuses to hear Clive tarnish his nobility. He wants to finish saying his peace, and leave. Does it pain him that someone who used to treat him with respect is spitting his name into the dirt? Perhaps so. But he refuses to stand here and be insulted.

“I thought you were better than this. I thought Mathilda’s death would strengthen your resolve to protect others. But you are sending innocents to their deaths,” Lukas continues, his temper bleeding into his words, “to see you fall so low… I am truly disappointed in you, Clive.”

He hears a sharp inhale come from across the table they’ve been arguing over. Crumpled war plans laid over the map, strewn over a stack of letters addressed to many families that crumbled to the spoils of war much too soon. Lukas had been called in to deliver these letters as well, and for once, he is glad to disobey an order. In the back of his mind, Lukas knows this argument is not over despite his feelings. This doesn’t quell his determination to fight for Alm’s honor, nor the people that still had so much life to live.

Before Lukas’s thoughts can continue, Clive’s hand raises and he can’t react in time. A sharp pain bursts in his cheek as he’s struck. The noise echoes in the hollow halls of the war room, and he’s left silent as his own hand gingerly touches his face. Lukas is almost afraid to look back at Clive, and when he does, Clive is staring back with the same dumbfounded silence. He lowers his hand, folding both arms behind his back.

“...Visit a cleric before you retreat back to your room. I’ll have new orders for you later,” he shifts his gaze to the side. His hand stings behind him with perhaps a tinge of regret. 

“...Of course.” Lukas mutters, his fingers still over the area where a bruise was very much going to blossom. He mechanically turns around, taking slow steps as he exits the room. Silence follows him.

Clive turns the other way once the room is empty. Lukas isn’t right, he tells himself. The burden still lies with Alm. Lukas spoke out of turn, having the gall to blame him. Clive stretches out his hand, the stinging fading along with anything else he might have felt.

-

In reality, Python isn’t too surprised at what he hears. Livid, yes, but not surprised. It’s taken every ounce of willpower he possesses to not break into the room the second he registers Lukas is hit. How dare Clive, Python thinks, to have the nerve to hit another person. Lukas is well within his rights to contest Clive, and he bravely stood up for himself and Alm - and these were the results? To be struck down? 

Python has every mind to handle matters himself with a bow and arrow, but that’d result in more trouble than it’s worth. Right now, the main thing he has to focus on is leaving. He’s put it off for much too long - finally grabbing Lukas and Forsyth, and escaping this excuse of an army that masked itself as the Deliverance. 

When Lukas finally emerges, the change in his demeanor is clear as night and day. He knows Python’s there, but doesn’t look up. He emptily stares at the floor, hand still fixed in place.

“Lukas…” Python’s quiet as he leads him away from the door. This isn’t for Clive’s ears, nor will it ever be. “Lukas. We have to leave. He hit you.”

Lukas says nothing.

“Lukas, I can’t let you and Forsyth stay here any longer.” Python’s almost afraid to touch him. Lukas seems worn at the seams, ready to fall apart at a moment’s notice. “We have to get out of here. Tonight.”

“I know,” is all he manages to get out of him. Python wishes the situation wasn’t so dire. He wants to grant Lukas and Forsyth safety, yet not at the expense of their well-being. Forsyth is broken enough already. Knowing what happened to Lukas, Forsyth will be heartbroken, and Python’s heart aches for them both. 

“Pack what you can. I’ll get Forsyth, and meet me in our room. Alright?” Python keeps his tone gentle. He’s sure yelling is the last thing Lukas wants to hear. Keeping his own emotions even is the best Python can do as well, knowing the upcoming talk with Forsyth will be anything but easy.

-

There’s a pit of nausea in Forsyth’s stomach as Python tells him to pack, and quickly. Every word Python says doesn’t seem to register, and they buzz around in his brain endlessly. He hears them loud and clear, but they just don’t make sense.

“Python, I’m sorry, I just… I can’t believe what you’re telling me,” he’s staring at an empty bag before him, “Sir Clive wouldn’t do such a thing!”

“Forsyth, ‘Sir’ Clive isn’t a reality anymore,” Python doesn’t want to argue. He’s mad enough as is, and Forsyth isn’t the correct recipient of his anger. “That Clive is gone. He was gone the second he insulted Alm how he did, and now he’s beyond our reach. I know this isn’t easy for you, but we can’t stay here.”

“B-but…! Can’t we just talk to him? Can’t he just apologize to Lukas and realize he was wrong for hitting him? Why would he hit Lukas…” Forsyth groans, unable to process anything as his mind threatens to overwhelm itself. 

“Forsyth, he doesn’t have a reason to hit Lukas because he should have never done so in the first place,” Python stuffs a few things in his own bag. “People like that… their reasons never matter. They’re nothing but excuses.”

“But Sir Clive isn’t like that!” Forsyth protests. The Clive he knew was kind and saw all as equals, and would never strike a fellow soldier. “H-he isn’t like Lukas’s brother!”

He can’t see it, but Python’s expression turns sour as he sets down the rations in his bag. He knows Forsyth doesn’t want to view Clive as abusive. It’s not easy for any of them. Python can still hear the sound of Lukas getting hit ringing in his ears. He hates that he’s the one that has to break Forsyth’s heart like this.

“Forsyth, I heard him hit Lukas,” Python finally turns to face him, and Forsyth can see how tired he already looks. Deep down, he knows Python’s right. He knows they have to leave. The thought continues to make his stomach churn.

Could he throw away his knighthood like that? Was it really that simple? Forsyth had dreamt of this from childhood. He remembers practicing his oaths in front of a mirror at a young age, eyes bright as his fist remained at his chest. It’s all he ever wanted, to protect the masses and live his life with honor. If he casts that away, Forsyth doesn’t know if he can remain happy with himself. He fought hard to join the Deliverance, and now it’s being taken away from him, and it just feels so, so terribly unfair. His honor would be marred, forever dirtied by being a deserter. 

“I…” Forsyth feels his arguments lose steam and lapses into silence. He holds his head in his hands, his mind screaming at him from different angles. Leave, one said, do you want to see Lukas get hit again? What friend would you be? Stay, the other hisses, Clive can still surely change. He’s not completely gone. He’d listen to you, right? You’re his most loyal knight. 

“Forsyth?” Python looks over again, weary of how quiet Forsyth has suddenly gotten. He sees Forsyth’s head tucked between his knees, hands at the side of his head, fingers digging into his hair. “Forsyth, are you alright?”

“N-no! Of course not!” Forsyth’s voice is muffled. He doesn’t budge an inch. “You can’t just tell me all of these things, and that we have to leave, and that Lukas has been hurt, and expect me to be okay!”

“I know. I know this isn’t easy, but I can’t risk your safety either,” Python sighs. “If he hurt you too, Forsyth, I don’t know what I’d do. I just know it wouldn’t end well for any of us.”

That gets Forsyth to look up at him. Python can tell he’s been trying to hold back tears this entire time, and that causes his heart to sink. He doesn’t quite recall seeing Forsyth cry - aside from the time they were children - and certainly doesn’t want to see it again. 

Python gently cups Forsyth’s face in his hands, looking at him sadly. “Forsyth, please… we have to leave. If anything happened to you, I’d never forgive myself. I already hate that I let Lukas get hit. I shouldn’t have let him go in there alone. I’ve spent so much time suspecting Clive’s actions that I allowed you two to get hurt in the process. I need to fix that, and the only way I know how is getting you two away from here.”

There’s a sad silence in the air as Forsyth takes in Python’s words. Being aware of Python’s hurt only compounds his own, and it doesn’t make the situation any easier. Forsyth knows staying will only worsen the pain. But leaving seems so hard. 

Unsure of what else to do, Forsyth looks away and begins to cry.

Alarm bells ring in Python’s head. Panic settles in his nerves, and he instantly tries to thumb away Forsyth’s tears. All he manages to do is make Forsyth cry harder - it’s finally hit him that the Deliverance is a hollow shell, and none of them are safe. Acceptance doesn’t make it any easier, however. It’s a bitter pill to swallow for Forsyth, and his mind screams at him for being a failure of a knight. If he were a knight, the one his dreams told him he’d be, maybe he could save the Deliverance.

He just wants to do something other then run away. 

“Forsyth, please…” Python hates this. He hates that his closest friend, one he’s so horribly in love with, break down like this. He feels helpless enough as is. “Things will be okay, I promise. We’ll get to somewhere safe. Maybe we’ll find Alm. But we gotta be strong right now.”

The door creaks open; its sound interrupts Python’s thoughts, and his blood turns to ice. If it’s Clive, Python fears it’s over for them both. He slowly turns his head, and his more than relieved as the figure of Lukas stands there while looking at the two.

“If I’m interrupting, I’ll return later,” he says, with a foot already backing out of the room.

“No, you aren’t, I promise.” Python isn’t able to tear himself away from Forsyth completely, and settles for taking his hands in his own. “Have you packed?”

“Yes, I suppose so. I’m ready to leave.” Lukas sounds eerily monotone - more so than usual. The bruise on his face is beginning to blossom - an ugly mix of blue and purple, a reminder of how important it is that they flee. 

Forsyth hates how clear the bruise is. He hates how prominent it is on Lukas’s face, and he hates that it happened and how he tried to excuse it. He feels worse, and tries to bite back the urge to cry even harder. He breaks Python’s hold on his hands to wipe away his tears, knowing right now, he has to focus. They have to get to safety. 

“If you’re ready to go, Forsyth,” Python wipes away the last of his tears, “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

-

They wait until the dead of night to escape. They know the patrol route of the other guards like the backs of their hands, and slipping out into the darkness is easy. Python doesn’t hear a word from Forsyth or Lukas, and while that worries him, he can address that later. If they’re caught, there won’t be any time to address it. His fingers keep skirting over the tip of his bow, ready to draw at a moment’s notice. He’s fought for his life before. This isn’t any different from before - minus the very fact Clive will hunt them down.

They run until the camp melts into the horizon. A swath of trees obscures their sight, and the calm quiet of the forest lingers around them. For a moment, they can stop to get some air back into their lungs, praying that no one has followed.

“Where are we going to go, Python?” Forsyth asks, whose gaze keeps wandering to Lukas. It’s clear he’s worried, guilt still weighing him down. He wants to talk to him, to say anything, but words dry up and dissipate on his tongue. If Lukas knew that Forsyth was torn over Clive, would he even want to talk? 

“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. Let’s focus on surviving the night first, alright?” It comes out harsher than intended, and both Lukas and Forsyth look at him, afraid they’re going to die. “...That came out wrong, I’m sorry. Let’s get somewhere safe first and figure out a plan.”

Python doesn’t know where safe really is. It feels like an empty word - a hollow promise that rings in his ears. For now, anywhere that is far from Clive is safe. They are at least granted this false hope for the time being. He doesn’t voice it, but Python feels terror seep into his bones. His gut amasses in a knot as he tries to recall if he’s even been this scared before in his entire life. 

Irony is a funny thing, Python muses, remembering how Forsyth was scared when they made their march to the Deliverance so long ago. Those were nothing but nerves, butterflies dancing about, wings fluttering with a wind of excitement. Now, he’s terrified, and his body feels like lead. He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want Lukas to die. He doesn’t want Forsyth to die. He wants them to run, and to live. While Python will gladly give his life for the other two, he desperately prays that day never comes.

“What if they find us, Python? Someone must’ve noticed we’re gone…” It’s almost as if Forsyth can read his mind. “We need to go somewhere…”

It’s a long march away, but one place comes to mind and it turns Python’s stomach even more. 

“We’ll go back to my place,” he manages to choke out, “...I’ll deal with my old man. It’s the safest place I can think of.”

“Y-your home?! Do you realize what your father would say?” Forsyth stares, aghast. “Do you truly think that’s the best option?”

“As far as I’m concerned, we aren’t taking Lukas back to his. And I don’t want you dealing with any treatment your Father will give you, so yes, it is.” Python isn’t very fond of the idea of seeing his father, but he knows it’s shelter. “I’ll work it out. I promise.”

“...Alright. I trust you.” Forsyth sighs. He knows that Python is taking on too many burdens at once, but also knows he’s doing so for their sake. It’s not the loss of Clive that hurts him the most, it’s seeing the two of them fall under the crushing reality of their situation that chips at his heart. Forsyth doesn’t want Python to hurt, but his mind can’t think of any way to help. He can’t help Python, and he knows he can’t help Lukas.

He notes that Lukas’s hand is drawn to his face once more. His fingers keep lightly gliding over the bruise, snapping him back into reality that it’s not a nightmare. 

They left the life they knew. Their future is now uncertain, as well as the assurance of their safety. Perhaps even their lives. Silence falls over the trio once more, as they venture deeper into the woods to find somewhere that’s safe enough to camp for the night.

After all, safety is now a luxury they can seldom afford.


End file.
